"When   Life   gives   you   lemons,   squeeze   'em   into   your   enemy's   eyes.   trust   me,   you'll   feel   loads   better!"

When Petey's not being an oversized child person, you can find this whippersnapper in the form of alter ego Mary Dolan- 86-year old ex-vaudevillian, star of the live comedy show The Mary Dolan Show, or as host of comedy cooking webseries Meals with Mary! Links to both these projects are below!

Head on over to theoriginalmary.com for All Things Mary Dolan and/or to mealswithmary.com to get in on Mary's cooking show action! If you can't wait that long, feast your eyeballs on this shit: